Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't) (Paperback)
A smart, sexy guide to embracing the repressed, tabooed, and often unwanted aspects of ourselves so we can discover our inner power and finally live the life we deserve.
“We always get exactly what we want; but often, though we may not be aware of it, what we most want is dark—very dark.”
Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality—the “other,” the shadow side—is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses—our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.
In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott, PhD, offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliott asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence.
Existential Kink provides practical advice and meditations so we truly see our shadow side’s “guilty pleasures,” love and accept them, and integrate them into our whole being. By doing so, Elliott shows, we bring to life the raw, hot, glorious power we all have to get what we really want in our lives.
About the Author
Carolyn Elliott, PhD, founded the online magazine Witch to give voice to the subtle “witching” in the world that’s not confined to tradition and convention. She’s also the creator of a popular online course and an online business specializing in helping people achieve dramatic positive change in their lives through shadow integration practices and applied occult philosophy. Elliott has a PhD in critical and cultural studies from the University of Pittsburgh and writes poetry, plays, and fiction. She resides in her hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with her family.
Elliott, founder of online magazine Witch, encourages the exploration of taboo desires hidden within the unconscious mind in her evocative debut. Elliott uses the Jungian concept of the shadow to posit that repressed and denied aspects of oneself manifest in negative ways, and she moves on to argue that individuals, on an unconscious level, can enjoy these feelings, and “get off” on the “forbidden enjoyment” they bring to one’s shadow. Her meditation method (“existential kink”) is presented as a “radical, somatic, hot, immediately practical and quick method” to bring these patterns to light, therefore dismantling them by tapping into one’s unconscious mind and “soul-spirit” realms through meditative and spell-casting practices. Elliott cracks many jokes throughout and warns about the correct mind-set for EK practice, emphasizing that those who are depressed or experiencing the first stages of loss or grief should proceed with caution. Elliott also shares stories of clients who have found success with her EK method, and there’s a question-and-answer section to clarify EK’s purpose and goals. Elliott’s novel methods could help spiritual readers looking to bring more positivity into their lives. – Publishers Weekly
— Publishers Weekly
“I have a confession to make. There are some painful stories of my past that I have held on to for far too long. It never made sense on the surface. Why would I obsess over these situations? Why can’t I just let them go? Carolyn Elliot’s Existential Kink provided the answer that I’ve been searching for all these years: on some level, I “got off” on these sad stories. Playing martyr felt good. When I began applying the practices in this book, I was able to turn around that thinking and release those trauma tales once and for all. This book will challenge you to look at your shadow side in a new way. Instead of ignoring it or covering up the old scars with ‘love and light,’ you’ll learn how to find power in the darkness. When you do that, a funny thing happens: you’re free.”—Theresa Reed, Astrology For Real Life - A No B.S. Guide for the Astro-Curious
— Theresa Reed
“Carolyn’s words cut through the popular light washed self-help and spiritual cannon, offering deep soul relief and a celebration that warmly invites our shadows to be unleashed from closets shrouded by shame. Beyond soul relief, Carolyn shows us that our spiritual growth and magical practices can be deeply fun even in their slimiest iteration. Her skillful way of teaching ancient tantra and alchemy that we can access without robes, mantras, or gurus is a gift.”-- Alexandra Roxo, author of F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power
— Alexandra Roxo